Scripture provides a lot of guidance on how we are to relate
to our parents, beyond the basic command to “honor” them. Much of that guidance can be gleaned by
focusing on the Hebrew or Greek meaning of the verbs used to describe what we
should or shouldn’t do. Here are some general principles, followed by annotated
quotes of the relevant scriptures.
General Principles
We are to
affirmatively help, seek to benefit, our parents in practical ways
Be real
assets to them
We certainly
cannot do them affirmative harm
We must understand/appreciate the importance/centrality of
the relationship
It is so important that we must do
hard/heavy stuff to keep it going and meet our parents’ needs
We must recognize and execute the
duties/obligations that come from such an important relationship
That goes far beyond meeting parents’
needs, we must positively bless & honor them
We must value, revere, venerate them
and our relationship with them; we should show piety towards them
We are to
recognize that the parent is the leader, the dominant person, in the
relationship
The parent is worthy of great,
reverent, honorific, respect
Sort
of like the “fear” of the Lord.
We are to take very seriously what our parents have to say, heed their instructions/requests
We should harken to, listen for, what they have to say
We can't ignore, discount, deride their insights/directions
We are to affirmatively seek after
their wisdom/insights, go out of our way to get them
We must pay attention to them with
great interest
We should recognize the value of their thoughts/instructions
And most of
all, we are to obey them
Specific Scriptures
Genesis 9:18-27
The
sons of Noah who came out of the ark were Shem, Ham and Japheth-Ham being the
father of Canaan.19These three were Noah's sons, and from these
the whole earth was peopled.
20 Noah, a tiller of the soil, was the first to plant the vine. 21 He
drank some of the wine, and while he was drunk, he lay uncovered in his tent. 22 Ham,
father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two
brothers outside. 23 Shem
and Japheth took a cloak and they both put it over their shoulders, and walking backwards, covered their father's nakedness; they kept
their faces turned away, and they did not look at their father naked.
Ham spoke
ill of, denigrated, his father
to be conspicuous, tell, make known
declare
announce,
report
make
known, expound
to
publish, proclaim
stand boldly out
to
expose
Shem and Japheth went out
of their way to respect their father
They
also helped him in practical ways
They showed him respect/care even though he messed up
24 When Noah awoke from his stupor he learned what his youngest son had
done to him, 25 and said: Accursed be Canaan, he shall be his brothers' meanest slave. 26 He
added: Blessed be Yahweh, God of Shem, let Canaan be his slave! 27 May
God make space for Japheth, may he live in the tents of Shem, and let Canaan be
his slave!
Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the
land that Yahweh your God is
giving you.
Honor =kabad
to be heavy, be weighty, be grievous, be hard, be rich, be honorable,
be glorious, be burdensome
to make weighty
glorify
promote
abundant
to be heavy, be weighty, be grievous, be hard, be rich, be honorable,
be glorious, be burdensome
to make weighty
glorify
promote
abundant
Anyone who strikes father or mother will be put
to death.
to smite, attack, attack and destroy,
conquer, subjugate, ravage
to
smite, chastise, send judgment upon, punish, destroy
Anyone who curses father or mother will be put
to death.
to be slight, be swift, be trifling, be of little account, be light
to
be lightly esteemed
to
treat with contempt, bring contempt or dishonor
easy,
trifling, vile,
diminished
exercrate
cast away from
to fear, revere, be afraid
to
stand in awe of, be awed
reverence,
honor, respect
venerable,
august
Anyone who curses father or mother will be put to death. Having cursed
father or mother, the blood will be on that
person's own head.
Honor your father and your mother, as Yahweh your
God has commanded you, so that you may have long life and may prosper in the
country which Yahweh your God is giving you.
Honor =kabad
Honor =kabad
Accursed be anyone who treats father or mother dishonorably.
And the people must all say, Amen.
He
summoned his son Tobias and told him, 'When I die, give me an honorable burial.
Honor your mother, and never abandon her all the days of your life. Do all that she wants, and give her no reason for sorrow. 4 Remember,
my child, all the risks she ran for your sake when you were in her womb. And when she dies, bury her
at my side in the same grave.
My child, do not forget my teaching, let
your heart keep my principles, 2 since they
will increase your length of days, your years of life and your well-being.
ignore, wither, cease to care
Listen, my children, to a
father's instruction; pay attention, and
learn what understanding is. 2 What I
am offering you is sound doctrine: do not forsake my teaching. 3 I too was once a child with a father, in my mother's eyes a
tender child, unique. 4 This
was what he used to teach me, 'Let your heart treasure what I have to say, keep my principles and you will live; 5 acquire wisdom, acquire understanding, never forget her, never
deviate from my words.
Listen = shama
Listen = shama
to hear, listen to, obey
to
hear with attention or interest, listen to
give
heed
yield
to
to
obey, be obedient
to
be regarded
to hear intelligently(with implication of attention, obedience)
consider
regard
give ear
attend to
render obedience
Attention = qashab
heed, incline, attend, hearken, pay attention, listen
to prick up the ears
to hear intelligently(with implication of attention, obedience)
consider
regard
give ear
attend to
render obedience
Attention = qashab
heed, incline, attend, hearken, pay attention, listen
to prick up the ears
grasp, hold, support, attain, lay hold of, hold fast
sustain
to
be seized
honor
My son, pay attention to my wisdom, listen carefully to what I know; 2 so that you may preserve discretion and your lips may guard
knowledge.
to stretch out,
extend, spread out, pitch, turn, incline, bend, bow
to
turn aside, incline, decline, bend down
incline,
intend
And now, son, listen to me, never deviate from
what I say
He who ill-treats his father and drives out his mother is a child both
worthless and depraved.
to deal violently with, despoil, devastate, ruin, destroy, spoil
to
ravage
to go through, flee, run away, chase,
drive away, put to flight, reach, shoot (extend), hurry away
chase (away); drive away, fain, flee
(away), put to fligh
Whoever curses father or mother will have his lamp put out in the deepest darkness.
Listen to your father from whom you are sprung, do not
despise your mother in her old age.
to despise, hold in contempt, hold as insignificant
Whoever robs father and mother saying,
'Nothing wrong in that!' is comrade for a brigand.
to tear away, seize, plunder, tear off,
pull off, rob, take away by force
The eye
which looks jeeringly on a father, and scorns the
obedience due to a mother, will be
pecked out by the ravens of the valley, and eaten by the vultures.
to mock, deride, ridicule
to
speak barbarously
to despise, hold in contempt, hold as insignificant
Children,
listen to me for I am your father: do what I tell you, and so be safe; 2 for
the Lord honors the father above his children and upholds the rights of a
mother over her sons.
3 Whoever respects a father expiates sins, 4 whoever honors a
mother is like someone amassing a
fortune.
5 Whoever respects a father will in turn be happy with children, the day
he prays for help, he will be heard.
6 Long life comes to anyone who honors a
father, whoever obeys the Lord makes a mother happy.
7 Such a one serves parents as well as the Lord.
8 Respect your father in deed as well as word, so that blessing may come on you from him; 9 since
a father's blessing makes his children's house firm, while a mother's curse
tears up its foundations.
10 Do not make a boast of disgrace overtaking your
father, your father's disgrace
reflects no honor on you;11 for a person's own honor derives from the
respect shown to his father, and a mother held in dishonor is a reproach to her
children.
12 My child, support your father in his
old age, do not grieve him during his life.
13 Even if his mind should fail, show him
sympathy, do not despise him in your health and strength;14 for kindness to
a father will not be forgotten but
will serve as reparation for your sins.
15 On your own day of ordeal God will remember you: like frost in
sunshine, your sins will melt away.
16 Whoever deserts a father is no better than a blasphemer, and whoever distresses a mother
is accursed of the Lord.
Then
Pharisees and scribes from Jerusalem came to Jesus and said, 2 'Why
do your disciples break away from the tradition of the elders? They eat without
washing their hands.' 3 He answered, 'And why do you break away from
the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4 For
God said, "Honor your father and your mother" and "Anyone who
curses his father or mother will be put to death." 5 But
you say, "If anyone says to his father
or mother: Anything I might have used to help you is dedicated to God, 6 he is rid of his duty to father or mother." In this way you have made God's word
ineffective by means of your tradition.
to assist, to be useful or advantageous, to profit
to
benefit:—advantage, better, prevail, profit.
Children,
be obedient to your parents in the Lord -- that is what uprightness
demands. 2 The first commandment that has a promise attached to it is: Honor your father and your mother, 3 and the promise is: so that you may have
long life and prosper in the land.4 And parents, never drive your children to
resentment but bring them up with correction and advice inspired by the Lord.
to listen, to harken
of
one who on the knock at the door comes to listen who it is
(the
duty of a porter)
to
obey, be obedient to, submit to
to
listen attentively
to
heed or conform to a command or authority
fix the value
for
the value of something belonging to one's self
to
revere, venerate
To
honor with many honors
Children,
be obedient to your parents always, because that is what will please the Lord.21
Parents, do not irritate your children or they will lose heart.
If a widow has children or grandchildren, they
are to learn first of all to do their duty to
their own families and repay their debt to their parents, because this is what
pleases
God.
to act piously or reverently
dutiful
regard or reverence
to
respect (support)
requital, recompense
Anyone who does not look after his own relations,
especially if they are living with him, has rejected the faith and is
worse than an unbeliever.
to perceive before, foresee
to
provide for one
to
take thought for, care for
look out for beforehand (actively, by way of maintenance)
look out for beforehand (actively, by way of maintenance)
