This translation is from the New American Standard Bible. Several other translations are available here.
Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Greek words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.
That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do.
That is followed by commentary, in blue. The commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.
Scriptural Text
Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
Definitions
love= ἀγαπάω = agapaō
to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly;to be well pleased, to be contented at or with a thing;to take pleasure in the thing, prize it above other things, be unwilling to abandon it or do without it;to welcome with desire, long for
to be full of good-will and exhibit the same;to have a preference for, wish well to, regard the welfare of
Vine's Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words
"Love can be known only from the actions it prompts *** this is not the love of complacency, or affection, that is, it was not drawn out by any excellency in its objects; It was an exercise of the [] will in deliberate choice, made without assignable cause[]”
"Christian love, whether exercised toward the brethren, or toward men generally, is not an impulse from the feelings, it does not always run with the natural inclinations, nor does it spend itself only upon those for whom some affinity is discovered. Love seeks the welfare of all ... and works no ill to any[]; love seeks opportunity to do good to 'all men, and especially toward them that are of the household of the faith'”
“In respect of agapao as used of God, it expresses the deep and constant ‘love’ and interest of a perfect Being towards entirely unworthy objects, producing and fostering a reverential "love" in them towards the Giver, and a practical "love" towards those who are partakers of the same, and a desire to help others to seek the Giver.”
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
greet with affection, show affection for; persuade, entreat; to be fond of, prize, desire; to be well pleased, contented;
embittered= πικραίνω = pikrainō
To irritate, or to make bitter; exasperate; render angry, indignant; irritated; to grieve (deal bitterly with).
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
Make sharp or keen; irritate; to be exasperated; grieved; make harsh or rugged
What this verse tells us
What this verse tells us to do:
Love your wives
What this verse tells us not to do:
do not be embittered against them
Commentary
As in Ephesians 5:21-33, we are told to affirmatively, intentionally, seek the good of our wives, and to avoid negative attitudes towards them.
· The core commonality is to love actively, intentionally, whether or not you feel like it.
There is also some emphasis on taking pleasure in our wives inherent in the word “love;” prizing them above all other things, being unwilling to abandon or do without them.
· This is an attraction/positive aspect of love, rather than the duty aspect.
· This aspect of love parallel’s the instruction in Proverbs 5:15-19 to “rejoice in,” “be exhilarated” “intoxicated” “captivated” by our wives.
This instruction is not limited to how to make our relationships with our wives’ work, it also addresses our relationship to God
· It is part of the various specific directions in Colossians 3 & 4 about particular ways to work towards/remove obstacles to, being filled with/rooted in Christ.
· In that regard it is similar to the instruction in Ephesians 5:21-33 in that it sets out one of the things that facilitates or hinders the flow of the Spirit.
· That seems to line up with 1 Peter 3:7's statement that we must treat or wives well in order to avoid interference with our prayers.
· In other words, we should not only do the things described in this verse in order to make our marriages work, we should also do them in order to draw closer to God.
