Friday, January 01, 2021

Scriptural directions for husbands, annotated—Genesis 2:18-25

This translation is from the New American Standard Bible. Several other translations are available here. 

 

Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Hebrew words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.

 

That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do. 

 

That is followed by commentary, in blue. The commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.

 

Scriptural Text

Genesis 2:18-25

The Lord God said: It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suited to him.19 So the Lord God formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the air, and he brought them to the man to see what he would call them; whatever the man called each living creature was then its name. 20 The man gave names to all the tame animals, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none proved to be a helper suited to the man.

21 So the Lord God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.22 The Lord God then built the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman. When he brought her to the man, 23 the man said: “This one, at last, is bone of my bones andflesh of my flesh; This one shall be called ‘woman,’ forout of man this one has been taken.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.

25 The man and his wife were both naked, yet they felt no shame.

 

 

Definitions:

alone =בַּד= bad

Blue Letter Bible

by itself; apart; separation                                                                                                      

 

helper = עֵזֶר= `ezer

Blue Letter Bible

succor; aid; one who helps

 

bone = עֶצֶם= `etsem

Blue Letter Bible

essence, substance; self 

 

clings = דָּבַק= dabaq

Blue Letter Bible

stick, stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to/with, follow closely, join to; adhere; to be glued; to be lovingly devoted to


one = אֶחָד= 'echad

Blue Letter Bible

one (number); united; apiece; the same; one of a kind; together; joined together


flesh, body = בָּשָׂר= basar

Blue Letter Bible

flesh; the body itself; kindred, blood-relations; self


naked = עָרוֹם= `arowm

Blue Letter Bible

bare, nude, either partially or totally


shame = בּוּשׁ= buwsh

Blue Letter Bible

To be disconcerted, disappointed; confounded; become dry; to fail in hope or expectation; confused; blush 

What this passage tells us:

What this passage tells us about God/His ways:

I will make a helper suited to him.

but none proved to be a helper suited to the man.

This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh

a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife

the two of them become one body.

What this passage tells us to do:

a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife

the two of them become one body.

they felt no shame.

What this passage tells us not to do:

It is not good for the man to be alone 

Commentary:

We are not at our best when we are alone, out of relationship with other humans.

·     Interaction with other things, other activities, are not an adequate substitute for human relationship.

·     To the extent that naming the animals was part of Adam’s work, this passage shows that work is not a sufficient substitute for relationship.

 

God intends our wives to be our helpers. How does one fruitfully treat, interact with, relate to, a helper?

·     With gratitude

·     With cooperation

·     With receptivity

·     With respect

·     With appreciation, not just for particular acts of service, but for the relationship (this sounds like the “honor” in 1 Peter 3:17)

·     With openness to input, advice

·     With benevolence 

·     By avoiding things that frustrate the helper/helping

 

The need for this kind of cooperation is certainly consistent with the directions to avoid negative feelings towards your wife given in Ephesians 5:28-29 and Colossians 3:19.

 

So does this helper relationship go both ways, is the husband to be the wife’s helper as well?

·     That is the general sense of Ephesians 5:25-30 and 1 Peter 3:17.

·     It is part of the meaning of “love” as used in Ephesians 5:25-30 and Colossians 3:19.

·     Ephesians 5:25-30 and 1 Peter 3:17 both speak of the husband doing things to benefit the wife.

 

God intends that our wives become our second selves; that we grow into one unit

·     More and more alike.

·     Becoming inseparable.

·     This is the dynamic described in Ephesians 5:21-33.

·     The growing together into one flesh is a gradual thing, occurring over time; the man and the woman “become” one flesh.

 

We are intended to “cling[]” to our wives. What does that involve?

·     Closeness, proximity, presence

·     Attachment, adhesion. See the commentary on Matthew 19:3-9

·     Cooperation/coordination/being synched 

·     Effort, intentionality, determination (sort of like an aspect of the “love” described in Ephesians 5:21-33 and Colossians 3:19)

 

Ideally, spouses are at ease with each other, not causing or experiencing any distress to/with each other.

 

What hinders that “helper” and “cling[ing]” relationship:

·     Distance/separation

·     Distraction

·     Alcohol/substance abuse

·     Resistance to correction/input

·     Not sharing/disclosing the things you need help with/not making full disclosure

 

This passage describes marriage before the fall; it therefore shows us what it could be, the ideal of marriage 

 

Application:           

·     We must try to avoid letting external things get in the way of/distract from the intimacy/growing together this passage describes, even if those things are not bad in their own right (such as work, relationships with our original families).

·     We need to intentionally consider what’s good and bad for our spouse because the benefit/detriment from those things will unavoidably affect us.

·     That which is truly good for one spouse is good for the other, so each spouse ought to pursue those things.

·     We need to freely and openly communicate with each other

·     That helps us identify what is good/bad for the other, as just discussed, and can bring joy in its own right.

·     That fosters/facilitates the helping relationship described above.

 

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