This translation is from the New American Standard Bible. Several other translations are available here.
Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Greek words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.
That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do.
That is followed by commentary, in blue. The commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.
Scriptural Text:
3Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”
4And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
7They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
8He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Definitions:
divorce(vv.3,8,9) = ἀπολύω = apolyō
to lose from, dismiss; to set free, release, loose; put away; to bid depart; to dismiss from the house, to repudiate; sever by loosening; undo
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
set free, release, relieve from; let go, let alone, leave one; discharge, disband; do away with, remove; do away with, refute calumnies against one; to be separated or detached
divorce (v.7) = ἀποστάσιον = apostasion
primarily, “a defection,” lit., “a standing off;” repudiation; something separative; see also “to cause to depart, to cause to revolt;” “to stand off, or aloof, or to depart from anyone;” metaphorically, “to fall away;”“to withdraw or absent oneself from;”“departing from, refraining from;” to make stand off, cause to withdraw, to remove; to desert, withdraw from one; to shun, flee from; to withdraw one's self from, to fall away; to desist, desert, etc.:—depart, draw (fall) away, refrain, withdraw self
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
having forsaken; cession, conveyance; See alsoloose from; release, relieve from; release on receipt of ransom; let go, let alone, leave one; do away with, remove;do away with; to be released; to be absolved from; be freed from; to be separated or detached
joined = κολλάω = kollaō
“to join fast together, to glue, cement;” “cleaving unto;”becoming associated with a person so as to company with him; “to unite, to join firmly;” fasten firmly together;keep company; to form an intimate connection with, enter into the closest relations with, unite oneself to;to give oneself steadfastly to, labor for
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
glue on or to; to be stuck to, stick or cleave to; to be compact
joined together (v. 6) = συζεύγνυμι = syzeugnymi
“to yoke together;” to join together unite; to fasten to one yoke, yoke together; See also association, companionship; and two draught cattle (horses or mules or oxen) yoked together, a pair or yoke of beasts; a pair
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
yoke together, couple; be yoked with, coupled with, paired; live in close familiarity; to be closely united
separate= χωρίζω = chorizo
to put apart, to depart from, parted, divide, put asunder, go away
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
separate, divide, exclude
hardness of heart = σκληροκαρδία = sklērokardia
destitution of (spiritual) perception; see also hard, harsh, rough, stiff; harsh, stern, hard
obstinate, unfeeling
What this passage tells us:
What this passage tells us about God & his ways:
be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh
they are no longer two, but one flesh
from the beginning it has not been this way
What this passage tells us not to do:
What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate
hardness of heart
whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery
Commentary:
The meaning of “join” and “joined together” suggests:
· Some sort of outside agent, instrumentality, that binds the spouses together, something in addition to each of them.
· That they cannot be unjoined without damage/alteration to both of them. Some element of the other (and/or the bonding agent) will inevitably be stuck to the other and some part of one will be removed/detached; there will be no clean separation.
· Attempts at separation not only injure the spouses, they also injure, or at least frustrate, the bonding agent.
Divorce/separation is a human construct, at odds with what God intended
· It will therefore inevitably bring substandard, harmful, results
I wonder if the “let no man separate” instruction is directed at men in particular
· As opposed to mankind
· Because of men’s more pronounced tendency to stray
· Because women tend to suffer more from divorce.
What can we learn from Jesus’ statement about divorce resulting from “hardness of heart” and his rejection of Moses’ provisions for divorce?
· It sounds like resistance to correction, as that concept is condemned in the wisdom literature.
· Jesus/God expects us to accept/stay in the marriage in spite of very disagreeable (but non-adulterous) conduct on our spouse’s part. Deuteronomy 24:1 authorized divorce if the spouse engaged in “indecency.” The Hebrew word translated as “indecency” referred to shameful, ignominious, dishonorable behavior. The Greek translation from the Septuagint similarly referred to unseemly, shameful, mean, conduct. Jesus’ statement here disavows those as grounds for divorce.
· The harm from divorce must be very severe, more so than the harm resulting from enduring the shameful, ignominious, dishonorable, mean conduct that Jesus rejected as grounds for divorce.
· This puts new light on Ephesians 5:25-30’s injunction against “hating” your wife and to sacrifice for her.
· This underlines the importance of addressing such behavior with the goal of healing it; perhaps that is one aspect of the cleansing referred to in Ephesians 5:26-27.
This idea of an indissoluble bond certainly aligns with Ephesians 5:28-29’s statements about caring for your spouse as your own body
So what can we learn/infer from these things about how to make a marriage work?
· Recognize the presence of the bonding agent as a participant, in addition to the husband & wife. God put the spouses together and has an interest in the success of the union; we therefore ought to look for and obey His direction as to our respective parts in it. We also ought to ask for His help in making it work.
· Spouses injure/strain themselves when they withdraw from each other, even if they do not divorce/separate. Withdrawal subjects the withdrawing spouse to tension between him/her and the bonding agent.
· Recognize and avoid the things that strain the bonding agent. Things that strain it likely strain those affixed to it.
· Given the bad conduct we are called to endure, this makes the lessons to be learned from the sorrowful mysteries very relevant.
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