Saturday, December 05, 2020

Scriptural directions for husbands, annotated—1 Peter 3:17

This translation is from the New American Standard Bible.  Several other translations are available here.

 

Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Greek words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.

 

That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do. 

 

That is followed by commentary, in blueThe commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.

 

Scriptural Text:

1 Peter 3:7

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding  way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her  honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.


Definitions:

understanding = γνσις = gnosis 

Blue Letter Bible

a seeking to know, an enquiry, investigation; signifies general intelligence; moral wisdom, such as is seen in right living; science

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon 

seeking to know, inquiry, investigation; knowing, knowledge; higher, esoteric knowledge; acquaintance with a person 

 

Richard C. Trench, Synonyms of the New Testament 

recognized as expressing the highest and noblest; it skillfully adapts its means to the attainment of the ends which it desires; a laudable prudence

 

show her = πονμω =aponemō  

Blue Letter Bible

to assign, apportion; portion out; bestow; give; dispense a portion

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

portion out, impart, assign; render 

 

honor = τιμή = time   

Blue Letter Bible

Valuing; preciousness; a valuing by which the price is fixed; the honour which one has by reason of rank and state of office which he holds; deference, reverence; esteem, a thing prized; the honor of one who outranks others, pre-eminence; the honor which one has by reason of the rank and state of the office which he holds

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

worship, esteem, honour; due regard; dignity;prerogative or special attribute; worth, value, price

 

What this verse tells us

What this verse tells us to do:

live with your wives in an understanding way

show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life

 

What this verse yells us about God/His ways:

so that your prayers will not be hindered.

 

Commentary

Perhaps Peter’s teaching should be given particular weight, given that he was actually married.

 

“in the same way.”  This seems to refer back to 1 Peter 2:6-3:6, indicating that husbands’ interactions with their wives should be guided by the same principles outlined for the interactions discussed in 1 Peter 2:6-3:6.

 

·     The principles that run through 1 Peter 2:6-3:6 are that we should avoid general dysfunction, live wisely, display the goodness of God’s virtues in our daily life, and benefit others thereby.

 

·     Those vv., particularly 1 Peter 2:6-25, indicate that those principles are to be applied in circumstances where it is sometimes challenging to do so. 

 

 “understanding.” This tells us that a husband should be intentional about how he lives with his wife:

 

·     We should think about, consider, examine her needs, circumstances; be systematic, disciplined about doing so.

 

·     This is similar to the second sense of love discussed in in connection with Ephesians 5:21-33,which is in turn consistent with various Old Testament instructions about a husband intentionally looking for what is best for his wife. See in particular the notes on Ecclesiastes 9:9.

 

The idea seems to be that the husband should use/apply his wisdom for the benefit of the wife:

 

·     To protect her

 

·     To edify her, as in Ephesians 5:25-30.

 

·     To reinforce and illuminate/inform his patience with her.

 

There is also a sense of living in a way that is somewhat detached from emotion, doing right by your wife even when it is not what you feel like doing that at any given moment.

 

·     Again, this is like the second kind of love discussed in connection with  Ephesians 5:21-33 and Colossians 3:19.

 

I wonder if this also involves understanding of the biblical principles about marriage, in addition to understanding the particular needs/circumstances of one’s wife

 

We need to make this special effort to be understanding because it does not come naturally to men and because that women are wired differently/ have different experiences/perceptions than men.

 

show her.” Again, the direction is intentionality; thinking about what will benefit the wife and how to best deliver it.

 

There is also an element of giving what the husband has, likely as a result of the thoughtful inquiry/consideration referenced by “understanding.”

 

This also involves affirmative effort on the husband’s part. See also the post on 1 Corinthians 7:1-7.

 

We are to cherish our wives, recognize, reinforce, act towards them in accordance with the special status they have in our lives.

·      This is consistent with the Old Testament instruction that a wife is a gift from God, Proverbs 18:22 and 19:14 and a special help for getting through life. Genesis 2:18-25 

·     It is also consistent with the instruction that we are to enjoy, derive satisfaction from. our wives. See Proverbs 5:15-19 and 1 Corinthians 7:1-7.

·     This is the opposite of “familiarity breeds contempt,” as well as some of the misconceptions of the relationship between husbands and wives supposedly based on Ephesians 5:22-24.

 

The sense seems to be that we do not exercise the protective/wisdom applying function described above in a condescending or overbearing way, but instead do so lovingly and respectfully. 

·     Maybe the “as Christ loved the church” benchmark from Ephesians 5:25 fits here. Christ is indeed the head/the superior figure in His relationship with the church, but He recognizes—and enhances—the value/worth of the other party to that relationship.

·     This also dovetails with the direction in Ephesians 5:25 and Colossians 3:19 that we should not harbor negative emotions about our spouses; such emotions are not compatible with the honor commanded here.

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