Wednesday, December 09, 2020

Scriptural directions for husbands, annotated—Ephesians 5:21-33

This translation is from the New American Standard Bible. Several other translations are available here.

 

Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Greek words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.

 

That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do. 

 

That is followed by commentary, in blueThe commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.

 

Scriptural Text

Ephesians 5:21-33


be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

 

22Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

 

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30because we are members of His body. 31For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

 

Definitions

subject (vv. 21, 24) = ποτσσω = hypotassō

Blue Letter Bible

primarily a military term, to rank under;” to arrange under, to subordinate, to subject one's self; to yield to one's admonition or advice; reflexively, to obey; subdue unto; submit self unto

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

place or arrange under; post in the shelter of; draw up behind;make subject; to be obedient; subordinates

 

fear = φβος = phobos 

Blue Letter Bible

that which may cause flight; fear, dread, terror; reverential fear; of God, as a controlling motive of the life, in matters spiritual and moral, not a mere "fear" of His power and righteous retribution, but a wholesome dread of displeasing Him; reverence, respect (for authority, rank, dignity)

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

panic flight; terror; doubt, scruple; awe, reverence

 

subject (v. 22) = διος = idios

Blue Letter Bible

pertaining to one's self, one's own, belonging to one's self; of what is one's own as opposed to belonging to another; to do one's own business (and not intermeddle with the affairs of others);those things in which one differs from others, his nature and personal character; my/thine own; one's household, persons belonging to the house, family, or company;of a person who may be said to belong to one, above all others;harmonizing with, or suitable or assigned to, one's nature, character, aims, acts; appropriate; private, privately, in private

 

head = κεφαλ= kephalē

Blue Letter Bible

the head, both of men and often of animals; metaph. anything supreme, chief, prominent; the corner stone

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon 

head of man or beast; from above; the noblest part; source, origin, crown, capital, completion, consummation

 

savior = σωτηρ = sōtēr

Blue Letter Bible

deliverer, preserver 

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

 deliverer; preserver from disease, ills, hurt;philosopher or guide

 

everything = πς = pas

Blue Letter Bible

radically means "all." Used without the article it means "every," every kind or variety; any and every, of every kind, all manner of;in every way or particular; the whole; each, every, any, all, the whole, everyone, all things, everything; thoroughly, whatsoever; all manner of; the highest degree, the maximum; always; in everything, in every way, on every side, in every particular or relation

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon 

when used of a number, all; when of one only, the whole; all, the whole; every; all things as a unity, as a totality;all kinds of things;in all points, entirely, wholly; in every way, by all means, altogether

 

love = γαπω = agapaō

Blue Letter Bible

to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly;to be well pleased, to be contented at or with a thing;to take pleasure in the thing, prize it above other things, be unwilling to abandon it or do without it;to welcome with desire, long for; to be full of good-will and exhibit the same;to have a preference for, wish well to, regard the welfare of

 

Vine's Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words

"Love can be known only from the actions it prompts *** this is not the love of complacency, or affection, that is, it was not drawn out by any excellency in its objects; It was an exercise of the [] will in deliberate choice, made without assignable cause[]”

 

"Christian love, whether exercised toward the brethren, or toward men generally, is not an impulse from the feelings, it does not always run with the natural inclinations, nor does it spend itself only upon those for whom some affinity is discovered. Love seeks the welfare of all ... and works no ill to any[]; love seeks opportunity to do good to 'all men, and especially toward them that are of the household of the faith'”

 

“In respect of agapao as used of God, it expresses the deep and constant ‘love’ and interest of a perfect Being towards entirely unworthy objects, producing and fostering a reverential "love" in them towards the Giver, and a practical "love" towards those who are partakers of the same, and a desire to help others to seek the Giver.”

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon 

greet with affection; show affection; caress; to be fond of, prize, desire; highly prized, precious

 

tolerate, put up with

 

Synonyms of the New Testament: Richard C. Trench

“expresses a more reasoning attachment, of choice and selection ... from a seeing in the object upon whom it is bestowed that which is worthy of regard; or else from a sense that such is due toward the person so regarded ...”

 

gave himself up = παραδδωμι = paradidōmi  

Blue Letter Bible

to give or deliver over, in the sense of delivering a person or thing to be kept by another, to commend; to commit; to hazard; to give over into (one's) power or use; to surrender, i.e yield up, intrust, transmit; 

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon 

give, hand over to another, transmit; give ... into another's hands; deliver up, surrender; commit oneself to 

 

sanctify = γιζω = hagiazō  

Blue Letter Bible

"to make holy" (from hagios, "holy"), signifies to set apart for God, to sanctify, to make a person or thing the opposite of koinos, "common;" it is translated "Hallowed;" separation ... from the world in [] behavior; to be venerable or hallow; to separate from profane things and dedicate to God; to purify; to cleanse externally; to purify by expiation: free from the guilt of sin; to purify internally by renewing of the soul;to make holy, i.e. (ceremonially) purify or consecrate; (mentally) to venerate:—hallow, be holy; to separate from things profane and dedicate to God, to consecrate and so render inviolable; In 1 Corinthians 7:14 γιζεσθαι is used in a peculiar sense of those who, although not Christians themselves, are yet, by marriage with a Christian, withdrawn from the contamination of heathen impiety and brought under the saving influence of the Holy Spirit displaying itself among Christians

 

cleansed = καθαρζω = katharizō   

Blue Letter Bible

to make clean, cleanse; to free from defilement of sin and from faults; to purify from wickedness; to free from guilt of sin, to purify; to consecrate by cleansing or purifying

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon 

Prune, clear ground of weeds, purify

 

spot =σπλος = spilos    

Blue Letter Bible

a fault, moral blemish; defect, disgrace

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

spot, fleck, blemish, stain

 

holy = γιος = hagios     

Blue Letter Bible

fundamentally signifies "separated;" most holy thing, a saint; sacred; consecrated; reverend, worthy of veneration; of things which on account of some connection with God possess a certain distinction and claim to reverence; of persons whose services God employs; set apart for God, to be, as it were, exclusively his; pure, sinless, upright, holy

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

devoted to the gods; sacred, holy 

 

blameless = μωμος = amōmos   

Blue Letter Bible

without blemish; faultless, unblameable

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

unblemished

 

hated = μισω = miseō   

Blue Letter Bible

malicious and unjustifiable feelings towards others, whether towards the innocent or by mutual animosity; a right feeling of aversion from what is evil;relative preference for one thing over another, by way of expressing either aversion from, or disregard for, the claims of one person or thing relatively to those of another; detest; love less,to postpone in love or esteem, to slight  

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

would not suffer

 

nourishes = κτρφω = ektrephō   

Blue Letter Bible  

to nourish up to maturity, to nourish; to nurture, bring up;to cherish or train

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

bring up from childhood, rear up;  nourish

 

cherish = θλπω = thalpō

Blue Letter Bible

"to heat, to soften by heat;" then, "to keep warm," as of birds covering their young with their feathers; as of a nurse for her children; to foster with tender care

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

heat, soften by heat; comfort; foster, tend it with fostering care

 

joined = προσκολλω = proskollaō

Blue Letter Bible

to cleave unto; to stick to;to join oneself to; to glue upon, glue to; to join one's self to closely, cleave to, stick to;to adhere

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

glue on or to, to be stuck to, stick or cleave to 

 

What this passage tells us

What this passage tells us about God/His ways:

the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, 

He who loves his own wife loves himself

the two shall become one flesh. 

 

What this passage tells us to do:

be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her

sanctify her ... cleans[e] her ...  [s0] she would be holy and blameless

husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies

nourishes and cherishes [her]

just as Christ also does the church

a man shall leave his father and mother 

be joined to his wife

the two shall become one flesh

love his own wife even as himself

 

What this passage tells us not to do:

hated

 

Commentary

Verse 21’s  direction that we should subject ourselves to our spouses “for fear of Christ”  brings to mind the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:23-35); how we ought to subordinate our “rights” to those of others in order to avoid displeasing our master.

 

·     And to prepare the ground for much more fertile relationships going forward, both with our master and with others

 

This is consistent with the teaching in 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 about spouses being under the other’s authority.

 

This command introduces a section describing how we ought to approach a variety of relationships (spouses to each other, children/parents, employees/employers). I wonder if the teaching about those other relationships informs us about how to better understand the teaching about spousal relationship (like the pattern  discussed on connection with in 1 Peter 3:7), and is the teaching about the marriage relationship helps us better understand those other relationships.

 

Verses 22-24 indicate that God put the husband over the wife in order for him to benefit her.

 

·     This is not headship/authority on the husband’s part (or submission on the wife’s part) to aggrandize/indulge the husband, but instead is set up so that the husband has the position/authority/tools he needs to bless the wife.

 

·     As in Deuteronomy 24:5 and Malachi 2:14-16 and 1 Peter 3:17, this makes the husband the fiduciary of the wife, so that he is charged with looking out for her interests, seeking her good. 

·     Indeed, the definition of the Greek word translated as “subject” in v. 22 (at least in Blue Letter Bible) has the sense of the wife being tailored/tuned to the husband to meet herparticularneeds. The husband must therefore be attentive to, aware of, intentional about identifying and meeting the wife’s needs.  That further emphasizes the fiduciary nature of the husband’s role/authority.

 

·     Just as a trustee ought to be alert to and avoid avoidable things that interfere with his administration of the trust/his relationship with the beneficiary, husbands ought to be alert to and avoid things that interfere with their blessing their wives or their relationships with their wives in general. 

 

·     Like a trustee, the husband is to do these things for the purpose of benefitting the wife, not for what he gets out of it. Although the husband does indeed benefit from the relationship, as discussed in connection with Genesis 2:18-25, Proverbs 5:15-19Proverbs 12:4, 18:22, 19:14, 31:10-12, and Sirach 25:13-26:18those benefits ought not to be his primary motivation. ·     The scope of this fiduciary responsibility is extremely broad, it applies to “everything.”

 

The benefits of that relationship flow beyond the wife to the children and beyond that to the broader family/community as described in Proverbs 31:10-31.

 

·     That makes the husband’s fulfillment of his role all the more important

 

The husband is to look to Christ’s stewardship/leadership/nurturing of the church as the model/exemplar for how he is to care for his wife/meet his fiduciary responsibilities for her.

 

Verses 25-33. The definitions of the Greek word translated “love” here seems to have two aspects: (2) affection for/enjoyment of your wife, a positive attitude towards her and (2) an intentional, dutiful, attention to your wife’s needs, even (and probably most importantly) when you do not feel like it.

 

Both aspects are consistent with the other passages on marriage. 

 

As to the first aspect of this love, the idea that men are to treasure their wives, is consistent with the statements Genesis 2:18-25, Proverbs 18:22, 19:14, 31:10-12, and Sirach 25:13-26:18, that a wife is a gift/help from God. It is also consistent with the direction in Proverbs 5:15-19 that we are to derive pleasure from our wives.  That last point also seems to be part of the logic of 1 Corinthians 7:1-7. 


As to the second aspect of this love, Genesis 2:18-25 and Deuteronomy 24:5 tell men to subordinate other things and prioritize their wives’ joy. Deuteronomy 24:5 also instructs intentionality about men’s duties towards their wives. Proverbs 5:15-19 tells men to avoid things that will interfere with their marriages, another act of intentional self-denial that is echoed in Sirach 9:1-9 Sirach 7:19, 26  teach perseverance in the face of difficulty within marriages. Parts of Proverbs 18:22, 19:14, and 31:10-12 imply effort on the husband’s part to make the marriage work as it should. The proper understanding of the direction that men should “enjoy” their wives in Ecclesiastes 9:9 also requires intentionality. Malachi 2:14-16 effectively tells men to be fiduciaries toward our wives, and a fiduciary intentionally and diligently seeks the best interest of his beneficiary. Between these two aspects, it seems that scripture puts more emphasis on the second aspect. That aspect is more prominent in the Old Testament passages on marriage. It also seems implicit in Jesus strong condemnation of divorce in Matthew 5:31-32 and Matthew 19:3-9; why would Jesus expect us to remain in a difficult relationship if we were not supposed to be delivering good through it? 


Verse 25 underscores/emphasizes the fiduciary nature of the love husbands are to give their wives: 

·     The husband is to give up/give over/subordinate his own desires, resources, priorities in order to benefit his wife. This sounds like the fiduciary’s duty to subordinate his interests to those of the beneficiary.

 

·     And the benefit he is to seek is not the wife’s self-indulgence, but instead is her growth toward godliness. This parallels the fiduciary’s duty to do things that will be in the ultimate best interest of the beneficiary, even though in some instances it will require things the beneficiary might not be pleased with and that might involve conflict with the fiduciary (like the trustee of a spendthrift trust).

 

·     This corresponds to the second aspect of love, discussed above.

 

So how do husbands do that? By following Jesus’ example, including:

 

·     Exemplifying/living out/manifesting their own sanctification

 

·     By avoiding/preventing things/situations that hinder sanctification, especially self-indulgences that would have that effect, even if they are otherwise within the one’s rights.

 

·     By setting up/encouraging circumstances that foster sanctification.

 

·     By rewarding/providing for satisfaction from things that lead to/result from/manifest sanctification.

 

·     By interceding for the wife in prayer, and in some circumstances with other people.

·     Meeting her where she is, even though others might disapprove of where she is.

 

·     By persisting in the effort to sanctify, even in the face of incomprehension, resistance, very unpleasant/hard/scary circumstances.

 

·     Repeating the same points/lessons when necessary.

 

·     Keeping encouraged by looking to the good that will eventually result from his self-sacrificial actions/attitude.

 

·     Going to God in prayer for recharging/direction/help in doing what He called you to.

 

Verses 28-31. The direction is to avoid hateful reactions to annoying/difficult behavior, and instead try to help the wife grow out of it.

 

·     We are to do that even if we have good cause to be annoyed/put off; that is inherent in one aspect of the definition of “hated.”

 

·     This mirrors what Jesus did with the disciples; He kept at training/growing them even when they messed up and did so in annoying/off putting ways.

 

This direction to respond to the annoying/off putting with blessing is consistent with Jesus’ direction in the sermon on the mount to return good/blessing for evil. Matthew 5:44. It is also consistent with Paul’s teaching in Romans 12:17-21.

 

This is an ongoing, permanent, duty.

 

·     That is part of the concept of being “joined” to your wife; it is not a temporary, undoable, relationship.

 

·     Jesus’ relationship to the church (the benchmark here) is permanent.

·     This is consistent with the teaching on the permanence of marriage set out in Malachi 2:14-16Matthew 5:31-32Matthew 19:3-9; 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, and 1 Corinthians 7:27.

·     That is also reinforced by the reality that spouses become “one flesh;” it is hard to separate a single, merged, organism

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