This translation is from the New Revised Standard Version. Several other translations are available here.
Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Greek words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.
That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do.
That is followed by commentary, in blue. The commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.
Scriptural Text:
19 Do not dismiss a wise and good wife, for her charm is worth more than gold.
***
26Do you have a wife who pleases you? Do not divorce her; but do not trust yourself to one whom you detest.
Definitions:
dismiss =ἀστοχέω
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
miss the mark, miss
stray, go-astray; be-off-target
to miss the mark, fail, swerved, erred; to deviate from, miss (the mark)
divorce = ἐκβάλλω
Cast out
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
throw or cast out of; jettison, banish; exorcize, strike out; let drop, fall;throw away, cast aside, reject; lose; go out, depart
to cast out of, from, forth, sent out, leave out, drive out, thrust out; expel, banish; to reject with contempt; eject
trust yourself
“but give not thyself over to”
detest = μισουμένῃ
Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon
Hate, not suffer
dislike, abominate
Hate; feeling of aversion from; detest; to love less, to postpone in love or esteem, to slight; disregard and indifference to
What this passage tells us:
What this passage tells us about God/His ways:
her charm is worth more than gold
What this passage tells us not to do:
Do not dismiss
Do not divorce her
do not trust yourself to one whom you detest.
Commentary:
The theme of these verses is perseverance in our marriages; we are to stick with our wives, be that pleasant, unpleasant, or something in between.
· We see that from the text of these verses themselves.
· That is reinforced by the verses surrounding them; they all speak to persevering in various kinds of relationships, of meeting our obligations to the folks involved in those relationships. See Sirach 7:18-36.
Verse 19 and the first half of verse 26 implicitly recognize that we can do things that can lead to the end of even a good marriage. They caution against such conduct/attitudes.
· Perhaps this alludes to the type of injurious outside influences addressed in connection with Proverbs 5:15-19 and Sirach 9:1-9
· Perhaps it alludes to boredom with or complacency about our marriages.
The second half of v. 26 is interesting:
· It speaks to how to deal with a difficult marriage.
· It deals with serious tension, a wife you “detest.” The underlying Greek word is translated as hate or abominate. That is strong stuff.
· Yet it still doesn’t authorize divorce, even though the concept is mentioned in the verse in another context. That is consistent with other scripture. See Malachi 2:14-16; Matthew 5:31-32; Matthew 19:3-9; 1 Corinthians 7:27.
· Instead, it counsels restraint, caution in letting the husband being controlled by a difficult wife. The assumption seems to be continuing in the marriage in some form, but limiting the wife’s control over the husband.
· Perhaps control in the sense of letting her direct, influence, disrupt the husband’s affairs. See e.g. 1 Peter 3:17.
· Perhaps control in the sense of letting her drive the husband to persistent anger, hatred, bitterness of the type condemned in Ephesian's 5:29 and Colossians 3:19. See also Sirach 7:18.
· Perhaps this caution describes a variety of the “understanding” spoken of in 1 Peter 3:17. That would be consistent with 1 Peter 3:17’s statements about marital discord interfering with prayers.
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