Scriptural directions for husbands, annotated—Matthew 5:31-32

This translation is from the New American Standard Bible.  Several other translations are available here.

 

Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Greek words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.

 

That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do. 

 

That is followed by commentary, in blue. The commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.

 

Scriptural Text:

Matthew 5:31-32  

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; ³²but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

 

Definitions:

divorce = ἀπολύω = apolyō  

Blue Letter Bible

to lose from, dismiss; to set free, release, loose; put away; to bid depart; to dismiss from the house, to repudiate; sever by loosening; undo

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

set free, release, relieve from; let go, let alone, leave one; discharge, disband; do away with, remove; do away with, refute calumnies against one; to be separated or detached

 

unchastity = πορνεία = porneia

Blue Letter Bible

illicit sexual intercourse;it stands for, or includes, adultery;adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.; sexual intercourse with close relatives;harlotry (including adultery and incest); figuratively, idolatry

 

 

What this passage tells us:

What this passage tells us not to do:

divorces his wife

marries a divorced woman 

 

Commentary:

This is consistent with other strong prohibitions of divorce. See Malachi 2:14-16; Matthew 19:3-9; 1 Corinthians 7:27.

 

This is a near absolute prohibition.

·     There is no exception for unpleasant, unrewarding, difficult, marriages

 

Christ never divorces himself from us, so if His relationship to us is the model for marriage as Ephesians 5:25 states, this prohibition makes sense.

·     To the extent that we divorce/separate ourselves from our spouses we are treating them more harshly than Christ treats us. That sounds a lot like asking to be forgiven when we will not forgive others.

 

One cannot cleanse/nourish his wife, as required by Ephesians 5:26-27, if he has separated himself from her.

 

This seems to be based on the impact divorce has on the divorced wife: it drives her into sin. It is therefore a humane measure. 

 

I wonder if this is motivated by a tough love/Hebrews 12 approach:

·     By forcing a husband to stay in the difficult marriage it forces him to address/work on what underlies the difficulty.

·     That is unpleasant while one is going through it, but is worth it in the end.

·     That therapeutic purpose is furthered by Malachi 2:14-16’s condemnation of duplicity/dishonesty; you can’t fix something unless you approach the matter honestly.  

 

So how do we cope with/heal a marriage that would tempt us to divorce? These vv. do not say, but perhaps other vv. in the overall passage (the sermon on the mount) do. In particular, Matthew 5:23-26 seems apt. It tells us to:

·     Make reconciliation of conflict a priority.

·     Initiate the process.

·     Not delay in addressing conflict; we should address the conflict before it festers.

·     Reconciliation should take priority over other very valid things.

 

Unchastity cuts both ways; if a wife’s unchastity justifies divorce, is the same true of a husband’s?

·      There is no logical reason why it shouldn’t.

·      A husband’s unchastity would have an equally deleterious effect on the marriage/wife.

·      And that would include such “soft” unchastity as pornography.

It is interesting to note that although unchastity justifies divorce, it does not require it.