Scriptural directions for husbands, annotated—Proverbs 5:15-19

Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Hebrew words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.

 

That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do. 

 

That is followed by commentary, in blue. The commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.

 

Scriptural Text:

Proverbs 5:15-19

¹⁵Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well.

¹⁶ Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets?
¹⁷ Let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you.
¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.
¹⁹ As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love.    

Definitions:

Drink = שָׁתָה= shathah

Blue Letter Bible

to feast; to be drunk; to imbibe (literally or figuratively); to drink together, to banquet 

water(v. 15) = מַיִם= mayim

Blue Letter Bible

water; figuratively, juice; by euphemism, urine, semen

springs= מַעְיָן= ma`yan

Blue Letter Bible

fountain, spring, well

water (v. 16) = נָזַל= nazal

Blue Letter Bible

to flow, distil, flow forth or down, trickle, drop;streams, floods (participle); to cause to flow; shed by trickling; gush out, melt, pour (down), running water, stream; fluids; like other verbs of flowing; is to be construed as an acc. Of whatever flows plentifully

fountain= מָקוֹר= maqowr

Blue Letter Bible

spring; source of life, joy, purification (fig.); source (of menstruous blood); by euphemism, of the female pudenda

rejoice = שָׂמַח= samach

Blue Letter Bible

be glad; to brighten up; blithe or gleesome; cheer up; to gladden, make joyful 

satisfy= רָוָה= ravah

Blue Letter Bible

to be satiated or saturated, have or drink one’s fill; to take one's fill; to be drunk, be intoxicated; to drench, water abundantly, saturate;to slake the thirst (occasionally of other appetites);bathe; soak, water (abundantly), irrigated

exhilarated= שָׁגָה= shagah

Blue Letter Bible

to swerve, meander, reel, roll, be intoxicated, err (in drunkenness); be enraptured; be ravished; elevated 

What this passage tells us:

What this passage tells us to do:

Drink water from your own cistern

Let them be yours alone 

rejoice in the wife of your youth.
let her breasts satisfy you at all times

be exhilarated always with her love.    

What this passage tells us not to do:

not for strangers with you  

Commentary:

The marriage relationship is to be exclusive between husband and wife.

 

More than that, the relationship should be an area of intense focus/pleasure:

·     Husbands are to be saturated, drenched, intoxicated, enraptured by their wives.

 

We are to approach the relationship with a positive attitude, with the goal/expectation of joy 

·     This is the opposite of the hate and embitterment that Ephesians 5:28-29 and Colossians 3:19 warn against.

·     This positive expectation/attitude towards our wives is consistent with the concept of “honor[ing]’ them, as discussed in 1 Peter 3:17.

 

The direction to “Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well,” seems to have multiple levels:

·     It directs against directly adulterous sexual activity: cheating, “three ways,” “open marriage” type activity.

·     It also directs against things that more subtly intervene into/influence/interfere with the relationship between husband and wife, things like pornography, coveting other women. That could be one of the reasons Jesus so strongly teaches against such things in Matthew 5:27-30. 

·     Perhaps it also warns about preoccupation with/prioritization of other things, even otherwise good things, that interfere with the joy that God wants marriage to provide.

 

Read together, Proverbs 5:18 and Deuteronomy 24:5 direct that the husband both give and receive happiness in connection with his wife.

·     Deuteronomy 24:5 directs the husband to give happiness to his wife.

·     Proverbs 5:18 tells the husband to derive happiness from his wife

 

Proverbs 5:19’s direction that a husband “be exhilarated always with her love” has a multi-level temporal aspect:

·     “Always” indicates that the exhilaration should be without exception; all the time; that there should be no cheating or lusting after/coveting, comparing to other women, ever.

·     “Always” could also refer to the entire course of the spouses’ mutual life times. That means that the exhilaration should be more than sexual, because sexual desire/exhilaration goes away with old age.      

 

We should look for the best in our wives, for the things that initially drew us to them. 

 

There should be a comfortableness, lack of stress, in marital fidelity. 

 

These benefits/directions flow not just to the benefit of the husband and wife, they also bless the rest of the household.

·     “Happy wife, happy life,” and its opposite, affects everyone in the family.

·     This is true of all the husbanding verses.

 

 

Scriptural directions for husbands, annotated—Proverbs 12:4; 18:22; 19:14 and 31:10-12

These translations are from the New American Standard Bible.  Several other translations are available through the hyperlinked citations to the verses quoted below.

 

Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Hebrew words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.

 

That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do. 

 

That is followed by commentary, in blue. The commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.

 

Scriptural Text:

Proverbs 12:4

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

 

Proverbs 19:14

House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

 

Proverbs 31:10-12

¹⁰ An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
¹¹ The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
¹² She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

 

Definitions:

 excellent =חַיִל= chayil

Blue Letter Bible

strength, might, efficiency, wealth; able; virtuous(-ly); worthy(-ily); uprightness, integrity; fitness

crown =עֲטָרָה= `atarah

Blue Letter Bible

An ornament, dignity, wreath

finds, find=מָצָא= matsa'

Blue Letter Bible

attain to, secure, acquire, get (thing sought); to find (what is lost); to learn, devise; to be discovered, be detected; to be gained, be secured; to attain, i.e. find or acquire; to find out by thinking; to wish to find, to seek

obtains = פּוּק= puwq

Blue Letter Bible

to bring out, furnish, promote, go out, issue; to bring out, elicit, obtain, cause to come out from; causatively, to secure; figuratively, to succeed: —afford, draw out, further, get, obtain; to cause to come forth from anyone; to bring to an end, to let succeed 

Youngs Literal Translation

“bringeth out”  

favor = רָצוֹן= ratsown

Blue Letter Bible

pleasure, delight, goodwill, acceptance; satisfaction; benefits; 

New English Translation:

“a pleasurable gift”

Youngs Literal Translation:

“good-will”

prudent= שָׂכַל= sakal

Blue Letter Bible

circumspect; have insight; to give attention to, consider, ponder; to have insight, have comprehension; to cause to consider, give insight, teach; to act circumspectly, act prudently, act wisely; to prosper, have success; wisdom

New Living Translation, Youngs Literal Translation:

“understanding”

trusts = בָּטַח= batach

Blue Letter Bible

to have confidence, be confident; to be bold; to be secure; to feel safe; to hide for refuge; to be sure; to fear nothing for one’s self; 

New International Version: 

“has full confidence in” 

New English Translation: 

“has confidence in” 

Darby Translation:

“confideth in”

What these verses tell us:

What these verses tell us about God/His ways:

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband

obtains favor from the Lord.

a prudent wife is from the Lord.

her worth is far above jewels.
he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

 

What these verses tell us to do:

What this finds a wife

obtains  

find 
trusts  

Commentary:

I wonder if these verses describe the goal to which the love, cleansing, and nourishing instructed in Ephesians 5:25-29 is directed. In other words, do they describe the outcome if we love, cleanse, and nourish the right way?

·     If so, then we would do well to study them so (1) we can see what we are working towards and (2) gain increased motivation to keep working.

 

Proverbs 18:22 and 19:14 make it clear that our wives are gifts from God.

·     That is consistent with the idea that they are provisions/helps God gives us to get through life, as set out in Genesis 2:18-25  and Ecclesiastes 9:9. 

 

Many of the good things we receive from the Lord require work, effort, on our part. Perhaps these verses are telling us that a good wife is one of the things.

·     And Ephesians 5:25-29 both reaffirms the need for work and tells us how some of to do it?

 

The idea that husbands have to work at our marriages to realize the benefits of that blessing is also supported by the definitions of “find,” “finds,” and “obtains” set out above.

 

Proverbs 31:11’s statement that a husband should trust is wife is consistent with the directions in Ephesians 5:28-29 and Colossians 3:19 to avoid negative attitudes towards our wives and 1 Peter 3:17’s direction to “honor” our wives.