Scriptural directions for husbands, annotated—Ecclesiastes 9:9

This translation is from the New American Standard Bible.  Several other translations are available here.

 

Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Hebrew words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.

 

That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do. 

 

That is followed by commentary, in blue. The commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.

 

Scriptural Text:

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.

 

Definitions:

Enjoy = רָאָה= ra'ah

Blue Letter Bible

to look at, see, regard, look after, see after, learn about, observe, watch, look upon, look out, find out; to see, observe, consider, look at, give attention to, discern, distinguish; to look at, gaze at; to be pleased with the sight of; to regard, have respect

 

King James, American Standard Version, and Webster’s Bible:

“Live joyfully” 

 

New Living Translation:

“Live happily” 

 

Youngs Literal Translation:

“See life” 

 

New Jerusalem Bible:

“Spend your life” 

 

love = אָהַב= 'ahab

Blue Letter Bible

human love for another, includes family, and sexual; act of being a friend; to have affection for (sexually or otherwise); to desire, breathe after; to delight; to be verdant, to germinate

 

reward= חֵלֶק= cheleq

Blue Letter Bible

portion, share, part, territory; one's portion, one's possession; portion, award (from God); smoothness, seductiveness, flattery; an allotment, inheritance. 

 

What this passage tells us:

What this passage tells us about God/His ways:

He has given to you 

for this is your reward in life and in your toil 

under the sun.

 

What this passage tells us to do:

Enjoy life with the woman whom you love  

all the days of your fleeting life 

 

Commentary:

The key verb here seems to be “[e]njoy.”

 

Most of the definition of “enjoy” given above seems different from most of the translations quoted above.

 

Most of those definitions tell us to give thought to, be intentional about, appreciate, your relationship with your wife.

 

·      That sounds similar to the  "understanding"counseled in 1 Peter 3:17.  It also sounds like the kind of approach that would be essential to effectively "cleanse" and "nourish" your wife per Ephesians 5:26-27.

 

So how does a husband do that?

·     By giving thought to/identifying his wife’s needs, so that he can prioritize them over his own desires/meet those needs per Ephesians 5:25-26. That sounds like learning her “love language.”

·     By thoughtfully looking for things that are aggravating, injurious, deleterious to her and seeking to avoid/eliminate them

·     Spending time with her, interacting, conversing with her on more than a superficial way—getting to know her better.

·     By learning the principles/dynamics that scripture says guide a good marriage and intentionally trying to do his part of them.

 

All those things would also be likely to lead to a result consistent with the translations quoted above: joy in marriage.  

 

Most of the translations quoted above are consistent with the type of "rejoic[ing] discussed in Proverbs 5:15-19. 

 

That idea that an intentional/thoughtful/analytical approach to the wife’s nature/needs leads to joy in marriage is similar to the insight that marriage is one of the types of blessings that requires work in order to receive the full benefit of it. 

 

The overall point of this verse is that we are not to take our wives for granted, but instead are to treasure/savor them and seriously consider/prioritize our relationship with them.

·      Because they are a gift/reward from God as one of the key helps He gives us to get through life. That concept is also set out in Genesis 2:18-25.

·      The idea that we are devote such attention to our marriage because it is a key help to getting through life is consistent with the concept in Ephesians 5:28-29 that we are to care for our wives as we do for our bodies.  

We are to do these things “all the days of [our] fleeting lives.” That is consistent with the direction in Proverbs 5:19 that we should “always”  and “at all times” be exhilarated with our wives.

Scriptural directions for husbands, annotated—Sirach 7:19, 26

This translation is from the New Revised Standard Version.  Several other translations are available here.

 

Excerpts from definitions of what seem to be key the Greek words are set out following the scriptural text. The sources are hyperlinked.

 

That is followed by excerpts from the scriptural texts that tell us what about God or His ways, what we should do, and what we should not do. 

 

That is followed by commentary, in blue. The commentary is my own, so it is not entitled to any particular weight.

 

Scriptural Text:

Sirach 7:19, 26

 ¹⁹ Do not dismiss a wise and good wife, for her charm is worth more than gold.

***

²⁶Do you have a wife who pleases you? Do not divorce her; but do not trust yourself to one whom you detest.

 

Definitions:

dismiss =ἀστοχέω  

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon 

miss the mark, miss

 

Kata Biblon

stray, go-astray; be-off-target

 

Blue Letter Bible

to miss the mark, fail, swerved, erred; to deviate from, miss (the mark) 

 

divorce = ἐκβάλλω 

Kata Biblon

Cast out

 

Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon 

throw or cast out of; jettison, banish; exorcize, strike out; let drop, fall;throw away, cast aside, reject; lose; go out, depart

 

Blue Letter Bible

to cast out of, from, forth, sent out, leave out, drive out, thrust out; expel, banish; to reject with contempt; eject

trust yourself 

King James Version

“but give not thyself over to”

 

detest = μισουμένῃ

 Henry George Liddell, Robert Scott, A Greek-English Lexicon

Hate, not suffer

 

Kata Biblon

dislike, abominate 

 

Blue Letter Bible

Hate; feeling of aversion from; detest; to love less, to postpone in love or esteem, to slight; disregard and indifference to

 

What this passage tells us:

What this passage tells us about God/His ways:

her charm is worth more than gold

 

What this passage tells us not to do:

Do not dismiss 

Do not divorce her

do not trust yourself to one whom you detest.

 

Commentary:

The theme of these verses is perseverance in our marriages; we are to stick with our wives, be that pleasant, unpleasant, or something in between.

·     We see that from the text of these verses themselves.

·     That is reinforced by the verses surrounding them; they all speak to persevering in various kinds of relationships, of meeting our obligations to the folks involved in those relationships. See Sirach 7:18-36. 

 

Verse 19 and the first half of verse 26 implicitly recognize that we can do things that can lead to the end of even a good marriage. They caution against such conduct/attitudes.

·     Perhaps this alludes to the type of injurious outside influences addressed in connection with Proverbs 5:15-19 and Sirach 9:1-9

·     Perhaps it alludes to boredom with or complacency about our marriages.

 

The second half of v. 26 is interesting:

·     It speaks to how to deal with a difficult marriage.

·     It deals with serious tension, a wife you “detest.” The underlying Greek word is translated as hate or abominate. That is strong stuff.

·     Yet it still doesn’t authorize divorce, even though the concept is mentioned in the verse in another context. That is consistent with other scripture. See Malachi 2:14-16; Matthew 5:31-32;  Matthew 19:3-9; 1 Corinthians 7:27.

·     Instead, it counsels restraint, caution in letting the husband being controlled by a difficult wife. The assumption seems to be continuing in the marriage in some form, but limiting the wife’s control over the husband.

·     Perhaps control in the sense of letting her direct, influence, disrupt the husband’s affairs. See e.g. 1 Peter 3:17.

·     Perhaps control in the sense of letting her drive the husband to persistent anger, hatred, bitterness of the type condemned in Ephesian's 5:29 and Colossians 3:19. See also Sirach 7:18.

·     Perhaps this caution describes a variety of the “understanding” spoken of in 1 Peter 3:17. That would be consistent with 1 Peter 3:17’s statements about marital discord interfering with prayers.